


Absolute

by Bunidesu



Series: Sportsfest '18 fills [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Canon compliant breakdown, Mentions of Mental Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 15:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15294816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunidesu/pseuds/Bunidesu
Summary: No matter how hard you try, things that are broken never quite fit as well as they did before. And that includes people.





	Absolute

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> "But I tried though. Goddamnit I sure as hell did that much, now, didn’t I?"

Akashi Seijuurou was no stranger to responsibility. From the moment he was born he was groomed to be the perfect heir to the Akashi business, learning business practices when people his age could barely count, practicing violin to his neck was sore, playing shogi all day to learn strategies. Those were skills of a modern renaissance man and what was expected from an Akashi. Basketball was the only reprise, when playing with his mom there was no ‘winning’ or ‘losing’ there was just playing. It was the closest Akashi ever felt to being a ‘real kid’.  
  
Then tragedy struck and the one person that gave him relief was gone.  
  
After that even basketball was added to the things an Akashi was not allowed to lose at, he had to be the best at the sport and master it like he did with all of his other skills. The responsibility was stifling, and as he got better and better his father added more and more things to the list of what he had to master. He was only ten and it was like he was drowning and no matter how he tried to swim up he could feel the weight of his responsibilities tied the his legs and weighing him down.  
  
Then suddenly the weights weren't as heavy.

More and more he began to notice himself missing time and feeling like he was watching things through someone else's eyes. When his father began lecturing, when a note went too high, or he missed a basket he would retreat into himself, and it was almost like someone else would come to the front and take the backlash instead of him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew this wasn’t normal, psychology was something that his father made him study and he knew there was a word for when there was ‘ _someone else_ ’ in your head but he refused to acknowledge it. He was an Akashi and Akashi's did not have mental disorders.  
  
Despite his father's calls for him to be the best Akashi still enjoyed basketball. And as long he continued to be the best and never lost or brought shame to the Akashi name his father had no issue with him joining the Teiko basketball club. The motto of '100 battles, 100 victories' was just the kind of thing that aligned with his fathers' goals for him perfectly.  It helped that almost a week after his promotion to the first string he was named the vice-captain, a feat previously unheard of by a freshman.

For a school that prioritized victory above all else he was expecting a bunch of boys with only victory on the brain, and while that certainly applied to his senpai the others in his year were, odd, to say the least. The mix of personalities was actually fun to watch, both off the court and on the court, their enjoyment of the sport obvious in the way they move and played together. He began enjoying himself once more, the smiles on his face genuine for the first time in years and he could feel himself enjoying what he was doing instead of doing it out of obligation. His first year was something he’d always keep near and dear to his heart. By the end of the year he and the rest of the newly dubbed 'Miracles' were less like teammates and more like friends.  
  
His second year it was a little shaky, he still enjoyed himself but being promoted from vice-captain to captain so suddenly was a little disorientating. Thankfully Nijimura was still behind him and even though he no longer held the position he would still knock some sense into his more _rowdy_ teammates before Akaashi could scold them. Haizaki was a problem but Akashi dealt with it swiftly and quietly, like an Akashi should. He remembers the Haizaki incident like a dream, leading him to believe the _‘someone else_ ’ handled it. The rest of the year, however, went much like the first, memorable, enjoyable, and something he held close. They weren't just teammates, they were like a vaguely dysfunctional family.  
  
His third year was different.

With the loss of coach Shirogane, he was left with not only leading but the responsibility of coaching his team as well fell on him. For the first time in months, he had to actively keep himself from falling into that _‘someone else_ ’ when leading his team and trying to keep them together. He’d noticed someone of them drifting apart so he introduced the point game to give them a goal, to keep them loving the sport and give them a challenge to keep them working. That day when Aomine ran off and Murasakibara challenged him he knew his attempt to keep them compliant didn’t work like he wanted. Once something was broken, no matter how hard you tried to fix it, it would never be the same as it was before.  
  
He couldn’t keep them together when they no longer worked as a team. They were nothing but a group of talented individuals that donned the same uniform. He couldn't encourage them when they no longer cared. Encouragements were nothing more than empty words at this point, they were the best so there was no need to point it out. He couldn't lift them up when there was nothing left to lift. Their ace was broken, their giant no longer cared and their ghost was getting harder and harder to find. He could no longer lead when they felt they were too strong to follow. That was the straw that broke the camel's back when Murasakibara felt that he was too good to listen to him.  ** _Him_  **of all people. 

 **‘Who was Atsushi to question an Akashi?’**  

Once more the weight was suffocating drowning him with no way out, filling his lungs and choking him. And once more he wanted to hide away into that fuzzy headspace where he only had to watch and give control up so when ' _someone else_ ' gave him the chance to retreat he took it happily.  
  
They were a team they needed to work together.  
_Relying on others made them weak._  
They were a team they should all enjoy to sport.  
_Feelings don’t matter as long as they win._  
They were a team they were supposed to be united.  
_Who cared as long as they scored?_  
They were a team they should listen to their captain.  
_He was an Akashi and Akashi’s were **absolute**_

**Author's Note:**

> Look I know I'm supposed to be working on the crossover AU but then sportsfest happened and now I'm dying  
> Feel free to talk to me/ judge my life choices on [my tumblr.](http://takaokazunaris.tumblr.com)


End file.
